She was so tiny and immaculate. She walked on your shoulders, on your back, on your buttocks and your thighs. Afterward she did extra. And you paid extra. I treated her very nicely you said. I wished she would take off her socks and walk on my balls until they hurt you said. And tweak my nipples with her toes. She was so tiny and you wanted to hug her and take off her clothes, too. You would use a condom and then you would take her to a fancy restaurant, the same one you took me with a view of the city. You would ask her earnestly about herself. You wanted her to know that you loved her. You wanted her to share the privilege, too.
no sex phone sex or excess
you slip back and forth a threshold
i cannot cross
i commune with projections
and fantasies of corruption
my reality shifts
between jello and concrete
i cannot feel you
except when we touch
safely spooned
the language our bodies know
when chimeras get our tongues
She would turn the key in the lock to her fourth floor apartment. She would step out of her shoes. She would draw close the curtains on the lights of the street. She would reheat the pizza left on a porcelain plate on the kitchen table. She would fill the coffee maker for the next morning. She would tiptoe past the room where her mother-in-law was sleeping. She would pick up her child and smell the dampness of sleeping breath. She would take off her socks. She would take off her clothes. She would thankfully slide between cotton sheets into the warmth of her husband’s encircling arms. They would whisper and secretly laugh at a private joke.
We would strain to touch one another across the distance of a phone line.