{"id":611,"date":"2024-01-28T07:07:14","date_gmt":"2024-01-28T07:07:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/?page_id=611"},"modified":"2024-01-30T00:59:08","modified_gmt":"2024-01-30T00:59:08","slug":"poems","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/?page_id=611","title":{"rendered":"poems"},"content":{"rendered":"
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 <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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53.<\/strong><\/p>\n

scratched by sunset claws<\/p>\n

her face dissolves in winter clay<\/p>\n

scales drop desiccated lashes<\/p>\n

cliffs threadbare, roots exposed to sky<\/p>\n

sun-withered, kelp drooping on old logs<\/p>\n

no child cartwheels across that expanse<\/p>\n

different gulls lean against the wind<\/p>\n

on the same trajectory<\/p>\n

where my mother’s ashes swept away<\/p>\n

i slowly fade in her wake<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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73.<\/strong><\/p>\n

fearing fecundity<\/p>\n

adoring concavity<\/p>\n

i transgress nature<\/p>\n

i decry the shame of a diamond mine<\/p>\n

such a perversion of purity<\/p>\n

yet i cannot help<\/p>\n

excavating your interior chasms<\/p>\n

pawing through soiled sheets<\/p>\n

for jewels<\/p>\n

marvels of chiseled perfection<\/p>\n

your abject honesty<\/p>\n

the poem i crave<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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71.<\/strong><\/p>\n

is it safe for me to tell you<\/p>\n

the ground i walk on<\/p>\n

the ground you worship<\/p>\n

is unstable<\/p>\n

cracked and fissured<\/p>\n

the cloak of compliments you wrap around my shoulders<\/p>\n

slips down<\/p>\n

my emaciated hollows<\/p>\n

words<\/p>\n

a collapsible architecture<\/p>\n

except for the bones, fine bones<\/p>\n

i am mediocre<\/p>\n

one of a dozen<\/p>\n

three dozen<\/p>\n

a hundred and two<\/p>\n

i will never really know the true number<\/p>\n

my sins and virtues coincide<\/p>\n

on a single day<\/p>\n

the day that marks the end and the beginning<\/p>\n

until that day<\/p>\n

i was special<\/p>\n

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78.<\/strong><\/p>\n

i’m not afraid of the dark<\/p>\n

i don’t have monsters under the bed<\/p>\n

but i am awake<\/p>\n

longing for the fullness of dreams<\/p>\n

to sail me across the trough of the night<\/p>\n

dreaded emptiness<\/p>\n

the nothingness beyond death<\/p>\n

my mother couldn’t comfort me<\/p>\n

go to sleep! she said<\/p>\n

her voice hard, impatient<\/p>\n

wrapped in her soft arms, i obeyed<\/p>\n

i didn’t know then it was she i longed to find<\/p>\n

mother<\/p>\n

an elusive charm but sometimes a nightmare<\/p>\n

now you wrap me<\/p>\n

in soft words and strong arms<\/p>\n

you fill me a boat with dreams  <\/p>\n

gently pushed from shore<\/p>\n

into the rising sun, this time<\/p>\n

i yield<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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100.<\/strong><\/p>\n

we had a picnic on Sauvie Island<\/p>\n

in a bird refuge<\/p>\n

asti spumante was exotic then<\/p>\n

smoked salmon and halvah<\/p>\n

you undressed me on a tree limb<\/p>\n

i was drunk and exposed<\/p>\n

you ate me up like a ripe kiwi<\/p>\n

i might have thanked you<\/p>\n

but instead i flew away<\/p>\n

flushed from the bush<\/p>\n

flocks of the same feather<\/p>\n

my ancestors migrated freely<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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99.<\/p>\n

you captured me<\/p>\n

hair flying on a saltsea breeze<\/p>\n

leaning into a sunset<\/p>\n

your eyes<\/p>\n

blinded by a rush of love<\/p>\n

unguarded moments like these<\/p>\n

make me want to go back in time<\/p>\n

to you<\/p>\n

to walk with you in the palmettos<\/p>\n

before<\/p>\n

we could walk among ourselves<\/p>\n

before we ever dreamed of life<\/p>\n

before life dreamed us into selves<\/p>\n

selvas primeval<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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47.<\/strong><\/p>\n

you will not age gracefully<\/p>\n

(as if power were a disgrace)<\/p>\n

you get out of jail free<\/p>\n

you pass go<\/p>\n

you collect your hides and a full quiver<\/p>\n

you stomp your boots<\/p>\n

though your fur may be fake<\/p>\n

your aim is true<\/p>\n

you howl a wild night<\/p>\n

no man takes you down<\/p>\n

you accept this body as your promised land<\/p>\n

moonscape of wrinkles, sags and scars<\/p>\n

witch, crone, harpy, Janus-faced tooth mother<\/p>\n

you kiss the mirror, your immortal twin<\/p>\n

you take your place in a pantheon of pleasure<\/p>\n

step aside demigods, let the party begin<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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97.<\/p>\n

silks and spices<\/p>\n

desserts topping desserts<\/p>\n

mink slippers and martini sunsets<\/p>\n

silhouettes sliding through sunbeams<\/p>\n

impossibly skinny<\/p>\n

impeccably chic<\/p>\n

cobblestone tourists<\/p>\n

soul searching kisses<\/p>\n

the chaste desert beyond and behind<\/p>\n

its silent fingers tenderly creeping<\/p>\n

inside<\/p>\n

retaking its territory<\/p>\n

in unsuspecting bowels<\/p>\n

the denouement a Victorian defeat<\/p>\n

but it was fun<\/p>\n

I reach for the last teacup<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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19.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fingertip tangos unfurling<\/p>\n

scrolls of spun sugar<\/p>\n

Word confections<\/p>\n

Enticing an already layered dessert<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Webs shimmering in a forest of vertical emotions<\/p>\n

Flattering expectations<\/p>\n

Rather than affectation, disarming affection<\/p>\n

Of which I am an unlikely object<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The ground springs gently underfoot, inviting trust<\/p>\n

Time suspended<\/p>\n

In a golden hour when the slant of the sun<\/p>\n

promises eternal bliss<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here and there still pools, obsidian obscure<\/p>\n

with sudden flashes of fire, like opal<\/p>\n

and I want to ask you<\/p>\n

What is the shadow of effusion?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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155.<\/p>\n

a demigod, you define the rules<\/p>\n

in the hot tub at Everett house<\/p>\n

no shoulders blazoned with adventure<\/p>\n

ever sluiced water so delicately<\/p>\n

into eddies of velvet seduction<\/p>\n

the best is yet to come, you say<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

we too, could migrate<\/p>\n

on wings to wilder waterfalls<\/p>\n

places unexplored by my ancestors<\/p>\n

who, when open land grew scarce<\/p>\n

transgressed their boundaries<\/p>\n

beyond mountains, mountains<\/p>\n

beyond, they came<\/p>\n

not so long ago<\/p>\n

to forage these forested slopes<\/p>\n

now street names<\/p>\n

on the lips of latter day seekers<\/p>\n

and idle soakers<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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156.<\/strong><\/p>\n

bitter honey on the rocks<\/p>\n

a fire in my place<\/p>\n

Balthus pulls back the curtain<\/p>\n

he was fourteen and i was ten<\/p>\n

(if only i could stay this age forever)<\/p>\n

adrift, on a sea of ice in suburbia<\/p>\n

what the hell, Siberia<\/p>\n

slipping into virtual passages<\/p>\n

virginal commerce, shrouded side doors<\/p>\n

a stage, in development<\/p>\n

a drama, a dream, perhaps<\/p>\n

a Freudian interpretation,<\/p>\n

child\u2019s play, a simulacrum, or a (mere)<\/p>\n

fantasy?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

five hard boiled eggs<\/p>\n

(i stopped long ago counting<\/p>\n

calories, but i still can\u2019t figure<\/p>\n

how to indulge<\/p>\n

to loosen the impulse to hold back<\/p>\n

to relax the forearm, to extend<\/p>\n

to take, to take for granted<\/p>\n

to let go<\/p>\n

to slide down the escarpment<\/p>\n

to call up a confidante<\/p>\n

a car<\/p>\n

a yellow convertible<\/p>\n

a white lie<\/p>\n

or a fantasy)<\/p>\n

deviled<\/p>\n

or is it defiled?<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  53. scratched by sunset claws her face dissolves in winter clay scales drop desiccated lashes cliffs threadbare, roots exposed to sky sun-withered, kelp drooping on old logs no child cartwheels across that expanse different gulls lean against the wind on the same trajectory where my mother’s ashes swept away i slowly fade in her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"bgseo_title":"","bgseo_description":"","bgseo_robots_index":"index","bgseo_robots_follow":"follow","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-611","page","type-page","status-publish"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/611","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=611"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/611\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":620,"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/611\/revisions\/620"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dianamilia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}